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Seasonal Affective Disorder

Most people have heard of seasonal affective disorder (SAD).  Clinically, it is considered a mood disorder subset.  People experiencing SAD struggle to find motivation to leave the house and engage in social interaction.  Even small things may feel difficult.  Sometimes those who don’t typically experience depression most of the year begin to exhibit depressive symptoms in the winter months.  Common symptoms include sleeping too much, having little to no energy  and overeating. This same condition in the summer can include heightened anxiety

The American Psychiatric Association also lists symptoms such as loss of energy or feelings of fatigue (despite sleeping a lot).  Conversely, insomnia can become an issue as well as restlessness, pacing, and racing thoughts. Feelings of worthlessness or guilt and having trouble making decisions or staying focused have been noted as well.

If you have found yourself experiencing some of these feelings, there are things that you can do to address the issues. 

  • Plan ahead.  Acknowledge that this is a difficult time of year for you, and put things in place to help make this season easier.

  • Make a list of pleasant events in which you have participated in the past or would like to try. Some examples are -  having lunch with a friend,  doing  yoga on youtube, learning to knit or going to a museum.  It could also be something as simple as buying your favorite kind of coffee and drinking it each morning in a special cup. Push yourself to do at least one of these things each day, even if you don’t feel like it.  Doing positive things helps us start thinking in a more positive direction.

  • Remind yourself that this is a temporary season.   

  • Get outside every day.  Just being in natural sunlight can help your mood.

  • Consider getting a light box. These mimic the natural outdoor light that is  lacking in the winter months.  Sitting in front of this light when you first wake up can trigger particular neurotransmitters to be released in your brain.  This will help elevate your mood for the rest of the day.

  • Make your morning positive. Plan the night before and prepare things that will make your morning easier. Make sure you have clean clothes, food for breakfast and anything you need to have ready for your day.

  • Exercise.  Consistent exercise has been proven to help with depression.  If you exercise outside you get double the benefit -  sunlight and physical activity.

  • Reach out to supportive family and friends. 

  • Limit your exposure to news, social media and other negative influences. 

  • Every night before bed,  write a list of things you are grateful for or a list of things you did well today.  

  • Make lists. Just writing a list helps your brain move away from a negative mood and into a planning mode. 

Even with all of these actions in place, you may find yourself no longer able to function at a normal capacity due to depression symptoms. If this becomes the case,  it's time to seek help from a mental health professional.  Find a therapist who understands SAD and can help you through this difficult season.   Generally speaking,  if your sleep, weight (up or down), mood, interest in activities, energy levels and ability to concentrate have significantly been impacted for more than two weeks, you should seek counseling.

If you experience any suicidal thoughts or actions, get help immediately. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 988, or the toll free Lifeline at 800-273-8255.   You can also go to the nearest Emergency Room as soon as possible if these thoughts ever occur to you.  You are not alone, and there is help!

Christmas expectations

It’s the most wonderful time of the year and we tell ourselves that this year Christmas will be perfect!  All the Hallmark movies give us glimpses of how life “should be” or “could be”. It’s easy to think that if we just get the right presents, or plan a perfect party, or get the family all in one place our holidays will be magical!  Isn’t that what the message is all around us? It’s not enough to enjoy the holidays or spend time with our loved ones. It needs to be “magical”!

It truly is a wonderful time of year and there are so many things to enjoy and celebrate. But the reality is, we are still in our own lives and in our own families. For some of us that means, your sister will brag about her perfect life and her perfect family. Your aunt will mention how much weight you have gained. Kids will get loud and overwhelming or bored and whiny and have some periodic melt downs. Someone in your family may have too much to drink and reveal what they really think about everyone or fall asleep right when you want to have the family picture taken.

Maybe you don’t experience any of those things, but have other disappointments that keep the holidays from being as perfect as you want them to be.

That’s because you and your family are imperfect humans and we live in an imperfect world.  Hallmark movies are just stories, they are fantasy.  

The answer isn’t to become pessimistic and turn into Scrooge or the Grinch.  We just have to prepare ourselves and manage our expectations.

This truly is a wonderful life if we choose to celebrate what is good and beautiful and accept the imperfect.  Here are a few helpful guidelines to follow:

  1. Don’t be surprised by the messiness of family. We are imperfect humans. Anticipate the things that will happen and let your family be who they are. You can’t change them but you can make plans to make the holidays more enjoyable.

  2. Remember, there is some good in everyone if we look for it. Make it a point to look for some positive in everyone of your family members. It may only be that cranky aunt Mary makes great mashed potatoes or that your nephew or your child can tear through wrapping paper faster than anyone you have ever seen. Do your best to focus on any possible good that you see. Focusing on the negative or how you wish they were only brings disappointment.

  3. Limit the time you are together. It is better to be together for a short time and enjoy each other than staying out of obligation and driving away hoping you don’t have to go back again for a long time.

  4. Make plans that work for your own family. Grandma may want all the grandchildren to go to the Children’s museum, or stay up to watch a favorite Christmas movie or wait to eat until another family arrives. But that may not work for the ages or personalities of your children. It is okay to opt out of some traditions or expectations. Family members may not like it, but doing what works for your family helps your kids enjoy the holiday more (especially if it involves getting rest!) and keeps you from feeling irritable and overwhelmed.

  5. Give yourself an escape plan. If being with 30 people in a small house gets overwhelming, take a walk. Go to the store for milk or toilet paper or go get coffee. It’s better to take a break than to allow the stress to build up and spoil it all.

  6. Create pockets of peace. In the busyness of the season, find times and ways that you can be still and enjoy all the good of this time. Get up before everyone is awake and drink coffee by the Christmas tree. Go for a walk or run and enjoy the cold weather. Turn off the news and instead listen to Christmas songs. Give yourself a small present to remind you that you are important too! Find a house of worship and go for a service or sit quietly for a few minutes in the empty church and think about all the good in your life. Write a list of all the things you are thankful for this year and keep it to add on to each year.

  7. Manage your expectations - whether with your extended family, your own kids, your spouse, your friends or yourself! We all have limits, limited energy, resources, patience and time. Recognize those limits and plan accordingly. Don’t put pressure on yourself or anyone else to make things be as you want them to be. Celebrate what you have and don’t compare your life with others. This may be a time that you need to stay away from social media and the carefully curated versions of other people’s lives.

In reality, life is messy, but it’s also beautiful.

So, have yourself a beautiful, messy, imperfectly  magical, Christmas!