This is a stressful time for all of us. We can’t go anywhere, most of us are working at home and there is just an overall feeling of anxiety. Don’t be surprised if we are just a little more irritated with each other than normal since everyone is in the same space. We have to make extra effort to keep our relationship strong and positive. Here are a few ideas.
Keep things light. This was a suggestion on-line and it’s brilliant. Have an imaginary friend or co-worker in your home. Then, if a little irritations occurs, you can blame the “co-worker”. “Delores left coffee cups all over the house again,” or “Delores drank the last of the LaCroix”. This really helps remind us that a lot of those irritants aren’t a big deal!
Find fun clean jokes to tell your spouse each day. Laughter has so many health benefits. Laughter stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles. It cools down your stress response, and decreases your heart rate and blood pressure and helps relax muscle tension. It can improve your immune system, help relieve pain, increase personal satisfaction and improve your mood. This is also a reminder to watch funny TV shows and movies.
Hold hands. There was a study claiming that holding your partner’s hand during difficult times can sync your heart rate and breathing, and even alleviate pain. It’s a phenomenon called interpersonal synchronization, and can help you feel comforted and connected. (Remember this is only if neither of you have the virus, have symptoms or have recently been in contact with someone who has tested positively .)
Look at pictures of puppies. According to a 2016 article in Psychology Today, just looking at dogs can make you smile. Another study showed that looking at a puppy or kitty and then a picture of your spouse will cause you to have more positive feelings toward your spouse. Just think what holding hands and looking at small animals can do! There are lots of apps and Youtube videos with adorable animals!
Have date nights. No, we can’t go to restaurants, but we can still plan special times to be together. Try to make those times as special as possible. Have dinner by candlelight, use the good dishes, dress up for it. Or ride bikes to the park and bring a picnic. Go for a drive to look at things that are blooming. Sit on the back porch or balcony and play a board game. Be creative.
Think about two things in the house (household chores) that cause you the most irritation and work together to get them done. For you, it may be shoes in the living room that drive you crazy, for your spouse It may be dishes in the sink. Just eliminating the top two things will help ease your stress.
Do small positive things for each other. Bring your spouse coffee in bed, play a board game that they love, leave a note that tells them how much you appreciate them. Use a dry erase marker to write notes or even jokes on your bathroom mirror. You may want to re-read the Love Language book and find out what your languages are.
Be affirming. Write ten characteristics you like about your spouse and then compliment them when you see them displaying those. “I love how playful you are with the kids” , “I appreciate how you keep our important papers so orderly.” Keep it completely positive! No,”If only you would….
Remember you are on the same team and this too will pass!